NEW YORK, New York – Pfizer, one of the major vaccine makers in the United States, has been testing our their vaccine in children younger than 12 years old with great results. Soon, they will seek emergency-use approval from the FDA. “We are very excited for our vaccine in 5 to 11 year olds,” said a Pfizer spokeswoman, “They are not getting sick and show no signs of becoming Corvette Guys.”

“Thousands of test children have kept their shoes on when getting in their cars, are not wearing gold chains, and find new balance shoes with jean shorts to be off-putting. These are all very good things.”