LONDON – With the Japanese Grand Prix being cancelled for the second consecutive year, Formula 1 is facing a finance crunch if they cannot find two governments to take advantage of and charge millions of dollars to host a race. An outraged F1 CEO Stefano Domenicali lashed out during a closed-doors meeting with the Formula 1 board, “Quickly! If we don’t get to 23 races we’ll only make $1.6 billion instead of $1.8 billion!”

“These are the things that will only get us 280 foot yachts instead of 300 foot yachts! Get Joe Biden on the phone, Abdul Hakeem, I don’t care who, just make 23 happen!”