LONDON – Heads of Formula 1 are looking for new and exciting ways to ruin their sport, confirmed one official after returning to the office after the latest round in Austria. “I think we have it pretty well setup with some new and dumb ideas on how to ruin the sport,” said the official, “We’re starting to not let the drivers race on track and we have a real doozy lined up with qualifying sprint races this weekend.”

“Pretty soon we’ll continue to lock down on track limits even more where cars can’t cross the white lines at all and we have a few more up our sleeve that nobody has asked for that we’ve seen successfully ruin sportscar racing.”