DETROIT, Michigan – Fans are excited to be able to once again attend races and enter the paddock this season, but are most excited for the PA system volume to be cranked to maximum at all times, especially when there’s no on-track activity. “I mean I love the fact I can’t hear myself think over the lunch hour because Eric Whatshisname and John Whothehell are screaming at me for no reason,” said one fan.

It’s really great because the race track infrastructure is setup so the sound quality is always top notch and you never get any reverb, feedback or loud ass screeches when they crank it to 11 at 7am. Can we just have a tornado siren going instead?” said another.