SEBRING, Florida – Sebring International Raceway, known for a bumpy track surface and an uninspiring layout, laughed when it heard the news that President Biden was proposing a huge financial package to boost the economy by improving miles and miles of infrastructure, including billions of dollars being spent on roads and bridges. “Ha!,” said a Sebring spokesman, “Ever heard of Quickcrete?! $15 per bag and it’s worked great for us, just look at the track! No tax payer dollars there!”

If you want to put your cars to the true test, all roads should be bumpy and suck. Put some drunk weirdos in cow suits next to the roads and many people will hit those highways and pay some tolls probably!”