COVENTRY, England – Jaguar has announced it will go all-electric by 2025 in a push for zero emissions driving. A cool new feature it will provide its old ass customers is a built-in defibrillator for when either the driver or passenger suffer their inevitable heart attacks.

Our push to an all-electric lineup is exciting and great for the world as we fight global warming together,” said a Jaguar spokeswoman, “Our old-ass customers will be shocked at how electric cars are still great pieces of machinery and will be extremely excited by the glove box defibrillator to help them carry on with their errands. These EVs provide the perfect voltage to kick start your heart!”