DAYTONA BEACH, Florida – For the third time in three years, the Daytona 500 was postponed or delayed due to heavy rains that had been forecast for two weeks leading up to the green flag. “It caught us by surprise honestly,” said a NASCAR spokesman, “No one could have predicted this rain.”

There’s not one thing that could have told us that rain was coming at 3:20pm and our green flag was flying at 3:00pm. This was completely by chance. Again, not our fault, nothing we could do to get this race in in a reasonable time slot. Are you Nostradamus? I’m sure as hell not.”