GAYDON, UK – Four-time Formula 1 Champion Sebastian Vettel is sporting a new look for his new team this season as male pattern baldness sets in. However, it will be his laughing opponents that are shocked to see him 1/10th up on the field due to this new aerodynamic adjustment.

“Yeah, guys go bald, and I’m worth $100 million. You can all eat soup out of my butt.” said Vettel.

It is interesting to note that aerodynamicist/expert Adrian Newey, who worked with Vettel at Red Bull F1, is also bald, meaning the Formula 1 grid could be in for another long four years chasing Vettel around the track.