NEW YORK CITY, New York – Pfizer is in late-stage testing of a new vaccine to help stop people from becoming Corvette Racing fans, also known as Corvette Fanitis-19. “We have seen encouraging results where our 30,000 racing fan test subjects are not becoming Corvette Racing fans with a few only showing slight symptoms where they have the desire to wear jorts and white New Balance sneakers. Some have even taken off their shoes when getting into their car, but that’s an encouraging sign and we’re headed in the right direction,” said a researcher from Pfizer.

“Our placebo patients have purchased C4s, gotten Jake tattoos, and have started wearing skinny gold chains, so we’re excited to see this develop. We’re hoping the FDA gives us emergency approval so we an get this out before the Daytona 24 in January.”