DETROIT, Michigan – In an effort to find more douchebags in the world, GMC is excited to re-release the Hummer brand to their lineup. “We could not be happier for Hummer to be back,” said Mary Barra General Motors CEO, “It’s an easy way for us to identify more douchebags in the world.

Just wait until we re-release the H3 variant of the vehicle. When that happened in 2006, we found all the douchebags that weren’t currently driving BMWs. It was great. Driving a Hummer is almost like 2020’s version of wearing a scarlet letter and we’re happy to help out society and warn them what douche is coming up behind them on the street.”