BRASELTON, Georgia – The Cadillac DPi, one of the worlds top prototype race cars, listened to critics and dropped weight after being fat shamed as it got ready for the upcoming IMSA event at Michelin Raceway Road Atlanta. “Not gonna win any races with those hips!” shouted one fan at at the car from Road America. “You’ll get heart disease, tubby! You only hope to be more like Mazda or Acura!” yelled another at Sebring.

“I guess enough is enough. I need to be more like Acura, and less like me,” said a distraught Cadillac DPi, “I’m going to lose some weight and fit the mold of what a Daytona Prototype International should actually look like.”