DES MOINES, Iowa – After a confusing and unorganized 2020 Iowa Democratic Caucus, Dan Gurney, who passed away in January of 2018, has shocked the system and won the vote via write-ins, beating candidates who are far more alive than him except Bernie Sanders, who may also be deceased.  “We were excited for the caucus, but you could tell right away that something was amiss,” said Democratic voter Sandy Mullins, “So my husband I got all of our racing buddies together and decided to just write-in Dan Gurney and it took off.  Dan Gurney for President!”

It is unclear who Gurney’s running mate will be, but sources indicate Mark Donahue as the leading candidate.