DAYTONA BEACH, Florida – Knowing that fans have been critical about stage racing and many swearing off the sport altogether, NASCAR CEO Jim France is sure the change in stage lengths no one asked for should chase off any remaining hardcore fans. “Fan feedback lets us know what we are doing right, and what we are doing wrong, and the loudest voice are from those criticizing the implementation of stage racing. It is no secret many of our fans have stopped watching and refuse to engage us again until we do away with the stages, and based on their feedback and actions, I decided changing stage lengths and not just doing away with them completely is a great way of letting our remaining fans know they can also go away,” said Jim France, emphasizing he will not be bullied by the only people that still care. “Nowhere is it written that NASCAR must listen to fans or care about what they want. You don’t like it? Good, then don’t watch. I’m not losing any sleep over it,” finished France who was wearing pajamas made from one hundred dollar bills.

When asked what he thought sponsors would think of his actions, France responded that he doesn’t need them either.