PALM COAST, Florida – Walking out of McDonald’s where he was denied access to using the restroom unless he made a purchase, area homeless man Paul Reeves was overjoyed with the news of a millionaire driver getting a free Rolex for winning a car race. “Of course, I am over the moon about this and can’t really put into words how happy it makes me knowing that Rolex is handing out free watches to people with seven figure incomes. Now not all of them are millionaires, but more power to the ones that are, because getting a free $10,000 watch sounds great. You earned it,” said Reeves, who hasn’t had seen that much money in over 20 years. “Due to untreated mental illness and addiction, I have not had steady employment or income since 1998. Last year I got by on $1500 or less and spent most my time digging through the trash here at this McDonald’s. I don’t even recall owning a single watch. This news really makes my day.”
Reeves went on to piss himself in front of customers as a way to get back at McDonald’s before walking off.