TEHRAN, Iran- Briefing other senior members of Iran’s Military of Intelligence, minister of intelligence Mahmoud Alavi informed the other members that Sebring International Raceway was being taken off the short list of potential strike points because no one would be able to tell the difference whether a missile hit the track or not. “We can not let the Americans know the Islamic Republic of Iran is weak or will be threatened by their attacks, but I have to say using Sebring as an example is a complete waste of time based on our reconnaissance. Satellite images make it evident the grounds have already been laid waste, and the track appears to be more than rubble already,” said the minister, scrambling to understand how a location so hyped by Americans could be so neglected and desolate. “Did someone get here before us that we overlooked? This should have been a prime location for displaying to America and her allies we are not afraid of their bullying, but attacking here would be almost laughable and a waste of good missiles.”

One senior official sarcastically suggested Utah Motorsports Campus which gave everyone a good laugh before moving on to other business.