SACRAMENTO, California – Drinking at home on a Saturday night and starting to think about how good their relationship with IMSA was up until 2018, a drunk Continental Tire texted their old partner to ask for a second chance and tried to explain itself. “Just tell me what I did to hurt you. Things were getting rough towards the end with the rain tires and restraints you put on me in terms of performance and target lap times, but my anger was never directed toward you. I was just going through a lot. Everything was great, and everyone said what a great fit we were for each other,” said the tire manufacturer in between shots of cheap whisky accompanied by Coors tallboys. “Michelin doesn’t love you like I love you. This rallycross thing is barely more than a one night stand, because all I want is you. We can do this. I just want you back. I am a changed tire. I am dying inside without you. PLEASE.”

Before passing  out on the couch for the night, Continental Tire sent one last text accusing IMSA of fooling around with the Michelin man behind its back.