HOUSTON, Texas- Answering a question from last night’s third Democratic party debate, Joe Biden was asked about inequality in driver talent throughout most racing series. Biden suggested that drivers looking to go faster should make sure they have the record player on at night. “Well, they have to deal with the … Look, there is a huge disparity in driver performance in this country. As a country, we drivers are out on track with very little support. We have one driver coach for every 1,500 drivers in America today. It’s crazy,” said the former Vice President, who was just hoping his eye did not start bleeding again. “They don’t know quite what to do. Play the radio. Make sure the television—excuse me, make sure you have the record player on at night. The phone—make sure the drivers hear words. A driver coming from a very wealthy background—will have 4 million dollars they want to spend, and we need to support that.”
At press time, it was not known what records Biden would suggest other than something something really rocking like Survivor’s “Eye of the Tiger”.