INDIANAPOLIS, Indiana – NFL veteran and starting Indianapolis Colts quarterback Andrew Luck shocked the world by announcing his premature retirement from professional football.  While many suspected the reason Luck retired was because he lost his passion for the sport after dealing with injury after injury, Luck announced to The Lugg Nutt the real reason for his retirement came down to Indycar’s decision to go with the aeroscreen protective device on their cars starting in 2020.

I can’t believe that crap,” said Luck, an avid openwheel fan, “This is Indycar.  If you are too scared to race, this may not be the sport for you.  I can’t deal with so many millenials in this city that are for safety and protection of the drivers, this is racing for cripes sake!  This is the root of why I’m leaving football, I just gotta get out of this city and away from the Indycar sissies that don’t get tradition or understand when men were men.”