BELOIT, Wisconsin- Sitting on his couch watching Pocono and eating nachos, area idiot Tyler Porter was disgusted that Robert Wickens dared to comment on whether Pocono is dangerous. “This guy is sitting in his wheelchair Tweeting about Pocono and saying IndyCar should not race there. Let the guys who have not been crippled from racing there decide,” said Porter stuffing his fat face with a handful of Doritos covered in chicken and cheese. “Our sport needs drivers who aren’t afraid, and I am sure had Gordon Smiley survived he would have said the same.”

Porter admitted his job at Office Max was not all that dangerous but that he was still cool with telling drivers on Twitter to risk their lives for his enjoyment.