DEARBORN, Michigan – A recent report released by University of Michigan scientists found a link that one in six persons who listen to Kid Rock will buy a Mustang and run someone over while leaving a cars and coffee event.  “Our study took nearly two decades to complete,” said Mahadran Kahda, lead researcher, “Starting in 1998, when ‘Bawitaba’ was released, we found one in six who listened to that song would buy a Mustang and end up running over an unsuspecting patron when leaving a cars and coffee event.  Often times the Mustang owner/driver would be listening to ‘Cowboy’ or ‘I am the Bullgod’ at the time of the hit.”

Kahda continued, “It’s pretty simple when you look at it.  Give a hillbilly a Hillbilly’s Ferrari, what we call a Mustang, and bad things will happen.  We’re also finding relationships with listening to Kid Rock to joblessness and bad political takes.”