TUPELO, Mississippi – Watching Lewis Hamilton catch and pass Max Verstappen in the closing laps of the Hungarian Grand Prix, area man Tim Novo was upset that he is running out of excuses to diminish what Lewis Hamilton has done since 2007. “When Lewis was given a ride with McLaren in 2007, I reasoned he only got the job because Ron Dennis liked him, but he went and beat Alonso and that screwed me all up,” said Novo as he pushed aside his Ferrari hat and rubbed his forehead in exasperation. “Go forward a decade, and he is still winning. I went with the tired excuse that it was only the car, but Bottas is proving that is not the case. The only thing going around now is that Lewis has a receding hairline, and I am going to somehow assimilate that with giving him an unfair advantage to justify my terrible reasoning. I am getting really desperate and could start saying Kubica would win in the Mercedes.”

Novo admitted he was happy F1 was taking their summer break which gave him time to come up with more ridiculous excuses.