FORT WORTH, Texas – The NTT Indycar Series has decided to cancel this weekend’s 600 mile race at Texas Motor Speedway after the stupid-ass cowboy hats the top three finishing drivers wear on the podium were lost.  “We have no choice,” said Indycar CEO Mark Miles, “The podium celebration cowboy hats are unique to this event and not every other race in Texas ever.  I was told Wednesday evening the hats were nowhere to be found and I gave a deadline of Friday morning to find them, but after a 30-member search team came up empty handed, it’s unfortunate, but we have to cancel the event.

Miles went on to say all six patrons will have their ticket purchases refunded and will also receive an IZOD Indycar polo for their troubles.