SAN BERNARDINO, California – Local Man Brett Harling is a douchebag, according to police reports obtained by The Lugg Nutt. A Cincinnati resident, who wishes to remain anonymous, filed a complaint with police that his neighbor, Brett Harling, is a complete douchebag when he’s in or around his car. “The guy never stops revving his engine and has one of those coffee can exhaust tips!” said the anonymous neighbor, “His license plate even says ‘Manual’ like anyone cares its not an automatic transmission. I see him all the time in his driveway looking at his car with his white sunglasses, backwards white Nike hat, perfectly white KSWISS shoes, a chin strap beard and a different Blipshift shirt every day. I’m not even sure what he’s doing. He’s a douchebag.”
It was also revealed in the report that Mr. Harling has a gear shift pattern tattoo on the palm of his right hand, with 3rd and 4th gear out of order.