INTERCOURSE, Pennsylvania – Documents obtained by The Lugg Nutt through a FOIA request have revealed that Roger Penske is not really a sea captain after all. After years of being referred to in media as ‘The Captain’, there is no record of Penke’s serving in any capacity on a ship other than owning a really nice yacht. Sources that spoke off the record suggest the nickname is the result of Penkse’s proclivity to wear a costume pirate hat in team meetings while referring to Tim Cindric as ‘Bucko’ and competitors as ‘hornswoggles’.