MILAN, Italy – Manciello Tortellini, up and coming Italian openwheel driver, lost his biggest sponsor, an Italian clothing line, for not keeping his hat with their logo on it with a flat enough bill.  “Mr. Tortellini has been warned multiple times by our designers that hat bills are meant to be perfectly flat,’ said Marco Primavera, fashion company spokesman, “The bills of our hats are crisp and sharp enough to slice an entire sfinciuni, but Mr. Tortellini apparently does not care about fashion, so we have decided to pull our sponsorship for the 2019 season.”

Tortellini’s manager responded, “Flat bills are dumb and look dumb.  Whoever started this craze in the paddock needs to be taken behind the garages and beaten with a frozen capocollo.”