ATLANTA, Georgia – Doctors from the Centers for Disease Control released the results from a three-year long study that links non-vaccinated children to becoming Corvette Racing Fans. “We thought we nearly had Corvette Fansosis fully eradicated in 2007, but the recent reporting of the false anti-vaccination studies have appeared to bring this awful disease back,” said Dr. Stephanie Thompson, “Now after years of more studies we are confident in saying there is a strong link between those who are not vaccinated will contract Corvette Fanosis, ultimately becoming a Corvette Racing fan.”
The study has also concluded that the first signs of Corvette Fanosis will spark in the contracted around age 30 with just wearing a free Corvette shirt, but will rapidly morph over the next 20 to 30 years where they will be wearing the same shirt tucked into jean shorts with no belt, with white New Balance sneakers with socks to the mid-shin. If you see someone like this, they have Stage 4 Corvette Fanosis, which is incurable, and it is highly recommended you turn and run in the opposite direction and find the nearest law enforcement official. Some with the advanced stages of Corvette Fanosis may only answer to the name Jake and will bring up the Fraud GT or BoP in every conversation, whether it is about racing or not.