LOS ANGELES, California – Yet another track record for street cars was broken yesterday at some track somewhere. The car that comes with a suspension that is no good on actual roads and some carbon fiber panels went slightly faster than that other car from last week. “We are living in a golden era of street cars just going for arbitrary lap times and giving manufacturers a reason to send out press releases,” said Motor Trend editor Greg Cildern, who was just copying and pasting his article from last week about the same thing. “Almost every week a superbly engineered car that you can’t afford and has a dumb amount of horsepower is out there pounding around some track looking for that extra tenth of a second. Who knows when we will see another record fall? I’m just kidding. It will probably be another couple days or so.”

Once his work was complete, Cildern turned to the task of editing some video content wherein he drag races an 800hp car on a runway against a coworker while they both push themselves back in the seat to display the cars’ awesome power and acceleration.