CUPERTINO, California – During Apples monthly press event, company CEO Tim Cook announced many new services to their ever-growing platform. A credit card, subscription gaming services and Apple News+ were mentioned, but the biggest announcement, followed by a long standing ovation from the crowd, was that the company’s Apple TV+ would never show sportscar racing. “And be certain, we’ll have great original content with star-studded celebrities like Jennifer Aniston!” said Cook, “We’re here to take down Netflix and Youtube TV! And by God, we’ll never show sportscar racing to our millions of potential subscribers!”
Analysts have determined that the sportscar racing enthusiast market, which consists solely of males age 56-65 that despise change and progression and prefer their sport to remain solely on cable tv channels that require multiple upgrade packages to view.