BOWMANVILLE, Ontario, Canada – Officers from the Durham Regional Police issued a warning to anyone attending the IMSA race in the Durham region to not look directly at John Potter no matter how much you might be pulled in by his hypnotic gaze. “Anyone with any chance of encountering John Potter this weekend must avoid looking directly at him and overcome any urge that draws them to his enchanting stare which is highlighted by two orbs of glowing intensity that want to suck you in,” said Chief of Police Paul Martin, whose eyes were not all that great. “There may be moments where you feel you are outside of your own body, no longer have any cares in the world, and feel a natural warmth that is emanating from some place unknown, but be warned, it is just John Potter’s eyes.” Martin likened Potter to the evil Lord Sauron but with nicer hair.

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