WASHINGTON, DC – In a letter to no one in particular, the United States has announced they will not use Chinese company Huawei’s 5G technology until Indycar gets their shit together for viewing their races on television. “It’s 2019 for God sakes!” said US Ambassador Richard Grenell, “How in the hell do they think partnering with cable companies to distribute their content is a good idea?! NBC, Rogers, Sky? This is who you want to control your content, just a bunch of old, white men that only know how to smoke cigars while golfing?! Until Indycar’s viewing issues are resolved, not just in America, but throughout the world, we will refuse to use Huawei’s 5G technology and suggest our intelligence partners follow suit!”
While the correlation between Indycar TV and Huawei’s 5G is still unknown, we do agree that Indycar’s viewing package is shit for the year 2019.