BOSTON, Massachusetts – Just days after getting charged with first-degree solicitation, New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft has also been charged with a first degree felony by calling autocross “racing”.  Massachusetts District Attorney Mark Fallon said, “Solicitation of a prostitute is a misdemeanor, fairly minor in the grand scheme of things.  But Mr. Kraft will also be getting charged with a first degree felony after audio was released of him calling autocross “racing” during a casual conversation with his grandson.”  

If convicted, Kraft could face life in prison for calling autocross racing, when everyone knows it’s not even a competition, just a bunch of losers in their MX-5s loitering in abandoned parking lots.