WASHINGTON DC- President Donald Trump announced Friday morning that he’s declaring a national emergency at Fox Sports and will be reprogramming billions of federal funds to build a wall around the NASCAR commentary booth to keep Darrell Waltrip out.
“Today, I’m announcing several critical actions that my administration is taking to confront a problem that we have right here at home. We fight wars that are 6,000 miles away, wars that we should have never been in in many cases, but we don’t control our own NASCAR telecasts. So we are going to confront the national-security crisis which consists of Darrell Waltrip talking just for the purpose of filling dead air. And we are going to do it one way or the other,” said Trump who was obviously passionate about the subject.
“The only weakness is he goes to the wall and goes around the wall. He goes around the wall and in, okay, that’s what it is. It’s very simple. Maybe Michael [Waltrip] gets him a ladder. We don’t know.” The President took a couple seconds of looking over his notes before continuing, “So we’re going to be signing today, and registering, a national emergency and it’s a great thing to do. Because we have an invasion of tired stories, an invasion of bad gags, an invasion of Darrell talking to Michael and it’s unacceptable. Nobody has done the job that we have ever done. I mean nobody has done the job that we’ve done on the NASCAR broadcasts.”
Trump finished his remarks without taking questions.