DAYTONA BEACH, Florida – Always on the cutting-edge of rule implementation and format changes, NASCAR announced on early Monday they would penalize teams and drivers for cheating for the upcoming 2019 season.  “It’s unlike anything seen within the world of motorsports today”, said NASCAR rules-maker Ross Fondane, “When a team cheats, they must be punished swiftly and harshly.  We will not tolerate cheaters and hope that more race series follow suit.”

“IF YOU AINT CHEATIN’ YOU AINT TRYIN’!” yelled one disgruntled fan to no one who was walking outside NASCAR Head Quarters late Monday while he waited for his shift at the 7-eleven down the street to begin, “Smokey Yunick is spinning in his grave!”  When Lugg Nutt’s Stockcar Correspondent asked the fan for his thoughts on the new disqualification rules, the fan said he had no idea what we were talking about, leaving us confused as to why he was yelling in the first place.