LAS VEGAS, Nevada – After debuting their 2019 race package during a recent test, it came out that the Xfinity Series cars, a step below NASCAR, were actually a half second faster per lap.  “Totally planned it that way on purpose.  Where most series get it wrong is within the speeds of their ladder series“, says a sweating and mumbling NASCAR VP of Marketing Ted Sampson, “We already know Cup is going to draw fans, but to keep everyone’s attention through the weekend, we made Xfinity faster.  The Ladder Series is supposed to be faster.  Indy Lights, F2, GT4, if those series were smart, these would be the fastest on track. It’s called marketing, and it’s what NASCAR knows.”

After NASCAR Cup drivers vented their displeasure with the new package to the media, NASCAR executives did the reasonable thing and threatened said drivers with penalties and fines if they were to keep up the critiques.