WASHINGTON, D.C. – At a recent protest outside the The Center for Disease Control and Prevention, an anti-vaxx rights group assembled to demand justice for their children who they claim became Corvette fans only after receiving vaccinations during early childhood. Barb Ensane stood with her eight year son who was clad in a Corvette Racing hat and backpack shaped like the Jake skull. Ensane explained her exasperation to the other parents,”We are all here to demand a congressional inquiry into what these vaccines are doing to our children. Before my son was vaccinated he was healthy and loved being outside with friends. Now all he wants to do is get angry on Facebook and talk about the Ford GT not being a real production car.

Other parents had similar stories of their children spending way too much time on Chevymall.com and worrying about the upcoming mid-engined Corvette.