DAYTONA, Florida – Daytona International Speedway held their customary press conference today to inform fans on what to expect for the Rolex 24 and suggest tips on making the weekend fun for everyone. Track officials suggest arriving as early as possible on Saturday to help ease traffic congestion, know what gates and parking lots you need to be at, have parking passes prominently displayed on your windshield, be prepared for any and all weather conditions, and that people from northern states please shut the hell up about how it is colder where you live.

“Every year we can expect anything from warm and sunny weather to pouring rain to temps at night that get near freezing, and every year some dolt from Minnesota or Vermont has to tell everyone that 40 degrees is not cold where they come from,” said Daytona’s manager of track operations. “Seriously, no one gives a shit, and no one is impressed that you are wearing shorts and a t-shirt when it’s 50 out. Go live in an igloo and let everyone else enjoy the race.”

Track officials also warned against people bringing in craft beers to shut up about the track only selling Budweiser.

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