HOUSTON, Texas – Lacking the funds required for research and development of an all new shuttle, NASA has decided to buy two dozen used Indy Race League chassis officially known as the Dallara IR-05. The Dallara is famous for the ability to launch under normal racing conditions, and NASA is confident the cars potential has not yet been reached. “Anyone who saw any IRL race knows what this car is capable of,” said NASA’s manager of launching stuff into space, “Mario Andretti nearly made it to Terre Haute, and all he did was allegedly hit some styrofoam. There are even rumors a car cleared the fence once, but that was a Panoz, and they sold their tech to the Chinese, so we assume there’s a tariff there now.” NASA says that while two dozen cars have been purchased only a dozen attempts will be made, because the other half will be used as the catalyst for launches. Kentucky Speedway will act as the base of NASA’s operations.

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