SEBRING, Florida – In a shock to everyone who knows him, the Green Park Strangler was convicted this week on six counts of first-degree murder with one charge going back to 2001. Victims ranged in ages from 20-55 in what police described as vicious and premeditated attacks. A detective of the Sebring PD talked about the trial outcome, “First and foremost I want to say justice was served today. Second, while this outcome will not bring the victims back, it does offer much needed closure to the families. The gruesome nature of these murders is something no one should have to deal with. The defendant attacked and brutalized these individuals and seemed to enjoy himself in the process.”

Lawyers for the Green Park Strangler insist they will appeal and say their client is just is just a lovable oaf who would never abduct anyone, dress them up in a cow costume, strangle them in a bathtub, and then bury them under his house.