DAYTONA, Florida – In a stunt that changed nothing, a driver that was formerly rated as silver took to IMSA headquarters to ask for a review of her rating that was recently changed to gold. Upon learning no one really cared, driver Lydia Vercum, handcuffed herself to just one of the many doors IMSA employees use to enter and exit the premises. Out on a smoke break one IMSA employee saw Vercum and at first thought she might be a panhandler,”You take breaks to get away from everyone for a minute or two, and I see this lady handcuffed to a door that is a backdoor that leads to an employee parking lot. Nobody even knew she was there. When I approached her, she started screaming in a bullhorn about her rating or something. I don’t know, man. I’m just one of the grunts,” said the employee who just went back inside and did not bother to tell anyone.
Vercum vowed to pee her driver suit unless a member of IMSA management came outside to hear her pleas. “I swear to god I will pee myself and leave a stain on this sidewalk that looks like the anniversary logo color!” shouted Vercum at an empty office building since it was Friday, and everyone left early for the weekend.