BOWLING GREEN, Kentucky- Caroline Retkan expected March 18 to be the happiest day of her life. With dozens of friends and family present at St. Mary’s church, Retkan was embarrassed to inform everyone that her fiancé, Jimbo Crawly, had texted to say the wedding was off due to not being able to find a tuxedo with the Jake skull on it. A clearly upset Retkan told family members she knew something was wrong when Crawly’s immaculately preserved C4 was not in the church parking lot.

The Luggnutt reached out to Crawly using a cell phone number provided by a member of Retkan’s immediate family. Crawly tried to explain his position,”I love Caroline, and I love my C4 in topaz green which is one of only 7800 made. Committing to the sacrament of marriage in anything other than a bright yellow tux with a big Jake skull on it wasn’t happening.What would people think? Now if you’ll excuse I’m on eBay motors looking at a C5 in topaz green. Damn, they only made 6200 of them. That’s rarer than a good woman that’s for sure.”

Advertisements