Washington, D.C. – During a ceremony today at the White House, President Trump awarded an Indianapolis Motor Speedway Yellow Shirt the nation’s highest civilian honor with the Presidential Medal of Freedom. Speaking to the media in the Oval Office the President explained the choice, “Anyone who has attended the Greatest Spectacle in Racing has had their lives changed by a Yellow Shirt. Whether one of them is screaming at people to make way for Sam Hornish in a golf cart or falling asleep in the IMS museum parking lot, their contributions to society are immeasurable.”

After the President placed the medal around his neck, one yellow shirt fought back tears while speaking, “This is such a high honor words will not be adequate. Thoughts are with my whistle that has never failed me and helped me to save countless lives. For two weeks every year we put our lives on the line when telling people what restrooms they can and cannot use. This medal is for all the yellow shirts that came before me and those that will come after me.” The ceremony came to an abrupt end when the President got side tracked and blamed the assembled recipients for sabotaging his 2011 pace car drive.